Admiral, There Be WHALES Here!

The next Star Trek film is Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. (I still have until - ACK! May is this week!!! Okay, people, time for me to crack down.) It was released in 1986, directed by Leonard Nimoy. This film starred the same cast as before, with the addition of Catherine Hicks (best known nowadays for her role as Annie in "Seventh Heaven"). It also featured Mark Lenard, reprising his role as Sarek, Spock's father, and Jane Wyatt, reprising her role as Amanda, Spock's mother.

The film takes place shortly after Star Trek III. Kirk and his crew, in the meantime, had re-fitted the Klingon ship they had hijacked in the last film, so that it would be simple for them to fly. They pack up to go back to Earth, where they are to face judgement for their crimes - stealing and destroying the Enterprise, going to a quarantined planet, and disobeying direct orders, to name a few. Spock wishes to go with them, to lend support to the crew that saved him. He is still not fully himself, and tends to take things too literally and too logically.

Meanwhile, Starfleet ships and starbases across the galaxy are suffering power drains due to a mysterious probe that is sending out signals that no one understands. When it gets to Earth, it stops, pulling up water from the ocean until the Earth is smothered in clouds and rain. As the Bird of Prey comes close to Earth, it gets a warning from the President of the Federation, saying that all ships should stay away from Earth, since the probe disturbs power to such a degree that vital systems (such as life support) are completely shut down. Spock and Uhura analyze the sound that the probe is making, and discover that it would be the same as humpback whale song, if heard underwater. When they research this phenomenon further, they realize that the humpback whales had gone extinct centuries before, hunted down to the last by humans.

In a desperate act, Kirk decides to go back in time - just a simple slingshot around the sun - to retrieve the whales, and fix the problem. Knowing that they could clearly die, given an imprecise calculation, the crew agrees to go through with the time travel. They end up in 1986, and land in a park in San Francisco, cloaking the ship as soon as they arrive in that time period. They also realize that they need nuclear power to get the ship back up to working condition. Splitting off into teams, Kirk and Spock go to find some whales, Chekov and Uhura go to find some nuclear power, and Scotty, Sulu, and McCoy look for materials to build a tank to hold the whales.

Kirk and Spock end up going to The Cetacean Institute - a fictional aquarium - where they meet Dr. Gillian Taylor (Hicks), and George and Gracie, the humpback whales she works with. After determining that the whales are going to be re-introduced into the wild, since Gracie is pregnant, and they can't guarantee the survival of the baby, Kirk and Spock decide that these are the perfect whales to take into the future. Dr. Taylor objects at first, but when they are moved to the ocean before she has the chance to say goodbye, she changes her mind and helps them retrieve the whales in the nick of time before they are killed by some whale hunters.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew has managed to complete their missions, with some various silly hijinks and some fixable danger to Chekov. The crew flies forward in time with the whales and Dr. Taylor in tow (since she refuses to leave her whales). The whales and probe communicate, and, after a brief conversation, the probe takes off to places unknown and leaves the Earth at peace again.

Kirk and his crew are tried for their crimes. Since Kirk was leading the others, they are dismissed of their charges. Kirk is downgraded to the rank of Captain, and "punished" by having to command a starship - the new U.S.S. Enterprise NCC 1701-A.

I should mention that this film was dedicated to the spaceship Challenger crew, in honor and memory of the tragic accident that occurred in 1983. Props to them for that.

The interesting thing about this movie is that it is the most fun. Even Nimoy, in the behind-the-scenes said that. It's probably the least violent (minus the whale-hunters), the most genuinely funny, and the one with a truly happy ending. The Main Title song for this film highlights all of that perfectly. It's very triumphant - almost Christmas-y. I actually downloaded it onto my iPod, I love it so much.

The only violent bit, as previously mentioned, was a video shown at the Cetacean Institute about whale hunting. It still makes me sick, even with all of the desensitizing I've had over the years from watching various movies. I couldn't watch it as a child, and I still find it very hard to watch.

A note on the bus punk: I LOVED that miniature song - "I Hate You" - as a kid because it had such a fun beat. When I started singing it around the house (because I didn't know what "screw you" meant), my brother had to gently correct me and tell me that Mom and Dad shouldn't hear me singing that, so stop. I still think that's funny and carry a fondness for the character and the song to this day.

I wonder, was the Temporal Directive in play here? Does it apply if they need to change the past to save the world? Would there be any other reason to go back in time besides something utterly dire like saving the world? McCoy and Scotty did have a bit of a stab at this concept when Scotty gave the molecular composition for transparent aluminum to a plastic-maker. McCoy pulled Scotty aside and expressed concern. Scotty said, "How do we know he didn't invent the thing?!" At first, I thought that was a sloppy way of dealing with it, and then I saw it as more of a way for the writers to say, yes, we understand this is not the way they should be dealing with time travel, but it's a fun movie, so forget it. Still, the geek in me is irritated.

I have to say while Wrath of Khan has replaced The Voyage Home as the absolute best Star Trek movie (at least in this viewing), I still hold a very fond place in my heart for the latter. I believe this is the most accessible film for both fans and non-fans. Everyone knows what you're talking about when you mention the "one with the whales."

That Green-Blooded Son of a Bitch!

The next film in our Star Trek lineup is Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. The film was released in 1984 (I had been born!), starred the same main crew as before, and added Christopher Lloyd (best known to me for Back to the Future) and Robin Curtis. It also brings back Merritt Butrick as David, Kirk's newly discovered grown-up son. The movie was directed by Leonard Nimoy - his first time directing a feature film.

The thought that best expresses this plot is Scotty's line from this movie: "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain." Sorry, folks, this is a long one.

This film starts just a wee bit after the first one leaves off. Exhausted, grieving, the crew of the Enterprise arrive at Earth, preparing for the Enterprise to get a refit. They discover that the Enterprise is to be decommissioned, and that Genesis (far from making them heroes) is now under quarantine and a forbidden subject. Other governments, such as the Klingon Empire, have expressed outrage that the Federation would have such powerful and destructive technology, and that they would keep it to themselves. (Cold War, anybody?)

Spock's father, Ambassador Sarek, comes to see Kirk just after his arrival on Earth. Sarek is convinced that Spock transferred his soul, his katra - everything that was not of his body - to Kirk, as per Vulcan tradition. Finding nothing in Kirk's mind, Sarek despairs, until Kirk puts two and two together. Kirk figures out that McCoy's odd behavior was not from stress or exhaustion, but rather because two very opposite souls were competing in his one body. Sarek tells Kirk that they must bring the body of Spock and McCoy to Vulcan to possibly give Spock new life. Though forbidden to do so, the crew of the Enterprise (minus Uhura, who promises to meet them later on Vulcan), hijack their own ship and high-tail it to Genesis.

In the meantime, a Federation science ship, with Lt. Saavik (this time, played by Curtis) and David on board has ventured to Genesis to find out more about it. they detect animal life forms, and Saavik and David beam down to the surface to investigate. They discover that the microbes that had been on Spock's coffin had evolved somewhat and multiplied immensely in size. When they look in the coffin itself, it is empty. Detecting another life form, they find a young Vulcan boy, who they assume to be a sort of reincarnation of Spock. The boy has no speech capabilities, however - he seems but a shell of a person.

While the science ship waits to hear from Star Fleet what they should do about the child, a Klingon Bird of Prey suddenly de-cloacks. When the Federation ship refuses to give over the information on Genesis, the Klingon ship accidentally destroys them. This rogue Klingon commander, Kruge (Lloyd), has decided to gain the Genesis information for himself, thus wielding the ultimate power, and bringing glory to the Empire in the process. Kruge detects life forms on the surface, and sends an away team down to see if he can still retrieve the Genesis information.

Meanwhile, the planet has been roughly aging - far beyond its normal speed - and Spock with it. With no trouble at all, the Klingons capture Spock, Saavik, and David, and begin to interrogate them as the Enterprise enters the system. After a brief but devastating fire-fight, Kirk staunchly refuses to give them Genesis. Kruge orders his men to kill one of the hostages. When the Klingons go to kill Saavik, David lunges at the one with the knife and scuffles with him briefly before being killed.

Disabled in ship and sorely grieved, Kirk agrees to surrender the Enterprise to Kruge and his men. Kruge sends over nearly all of his men, while Kirk sets the self-destruct, and beams the Federation officers to the planet's surface. The Enterprise is then destroyed - looking like a flaming comet over a dying planet - and most of Kruge's crew with it.

Kirk and crew reunite with Saavik and Spock, and free them from the Klingons. Kirk taunts Kruge via one of the dead Klingon's communicators, and Kruge, in a rage, beams down to the surface. In exchange for the Genesis information, Kruge beams up the Federation officers to his ship, except for Spock and Kirk. When Kirk reveals that he had lied to get his crew off of the planet, he and Kruge wrestle on the planet until Kirk is able to throw Kruge off a cliff. He and Spock then beam aboard the Klingon vessel, overcome the one Klingon left, and fly to Vulcan.

There, at great risk to themselves, McCoy and Spock undergo the fal-tor-pan - a transfer of Spock's katra from McCoy's body to his. The transfer is successful and neither are permanently harmed, but it is clear that it will be a long process before Spock is himself again.

*Whew!* Now that that's done with, some notes...

Though a dubious honor at best, this is the best of the "odd" Star Trek films. The even-numbered films tend to be significantly better movies than the odd-numbered ones. I think the main issue with this film is that they tried to cram so much information into 105 minutes. Some of the scenes got truncated that would be more interesting to expand - the scene on Vulcan, for instance. Other scenes are completely unnecessary, or go on for too long - the microbes, anyone? The fight between Kruge and a microbe?? Interesting puppetry, totally pointless scene.

The filmmakers also re-showed the Genesis effect animation from Star Trek II. Animated by Industrial Light and Magic, this was the first entirely computer-generated sequence in a film, which is pretty darn cool, considering that computer-generated effects are rampant in today's movies.

It's hard for me to take Christopher Lloyd seriously as a Klingon, given his roles in the Back to the Future series. However, I looked it up, and Star Trek III was released a year before Back to the Future, so the original viewers would probably not have had that issue.

Seeing the Enterprise destroyed must have been devastating for the fans. I remember when I saw the Enterprise D destroyed in Generations. I don't think I've ever forgiven them for that. I wonder if it was the trade-off they decided on when they decided to bring back Spock.

Speaking of which, this film is full of convenient death and resurrection. Spock probably, despite my great love for him, should have stayed dead. His death and funeral scenes in Wrath of Khan were extremely moving. Would it have been better plot-wise to see how the crew deals with it after Spock dies? It's a question we'll never know, but I would be surprised if it has not been explored in a what-if book scenario. Also, David's death is very useful - we don't know what to do with him, so let's just kill him off.

Final thought: Kirk should not be able to defeat a Klingon commander in hand-to-hand combat.

Best of the odds, still not a favorite. Let me know what you think of the movie in the comments section!

In My Own Little Corner

Taking a departure from Star Trek (I still have until May!), I decided to watch the 1957 live television production of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, starring the wonderful Julie Andrews. Apparently, CBS wanted to televise a musical for audiences at home to see. Since Rodgers and Hammerstein were, as Andrews says in her introduction, "synonymous with Broadway," CBS enlisted the illustrious duo to write/compose a new version of Cinderella. At the time, Andrews was the sweetheart of Broadway, as she had been playing Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. She was a shoe-in for the role of Cinderella.

Cinderella's story is simple. A young woman relegated to servitude by her step-family after the death of her father is visited by her fairy godmother. With magic to dress and transport her, Cinderella goes to the royal ball, where the prince falls in love with her, and she with him. Required by the magic to leave by midnight, she disappears into the night, leaving behind a single glass slipper. The prince tries the shoe on every girl in the kingdom until he finds Cinderella. They marry and live happily ever after. As for the step-family, different versions treat them different ways. This particular version is kind to them, allowing the now simpering fools to attend Cinderella at her wedding, and presumably attain tenuous royal favor for their connection to her.

A note first on Julie Andrews. I have loved Julie Andrews for my entire life. While most people know her from her roles in Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music, or, much more recently The Princess Diaries I and II (which were actually quite sweet - I'll review them one of these days), I also love her for her less innocent and motherly roles, such as in The Americanization of Emily and Victor/Victoria. Although Cinderella is firmly within the first vein of movies I mentioned (minus the motherly), I wanted to establish that I admire Andrews for her breadth of acting, not just for her sweet roles.

I am familiar with this score and version-of-story because of the 1997 Disney production of the same musical starring Brandy in the title role, so I can't help but compare the two. The 1957 version was sweeter and more innocent, but far less polished, and the side characters (even when playing the exact same scenes) were more one-dimensional than the 1997 version. Andrews outsang Brandy (through no fault of Brandy's!) completely, yet both managed to maintain a sparkle of wonder in their eye, and fill their character with character.

Overall, I was pleased with this version, but Andrews is who makes the production. It was not the fancy production I was hoping for, but it was quite impressive, given their circumstances. Worth a view; I'm not sure if it's worth owning.

For Hate's Sake, I Spit My Last Breath at Thee!

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is widely celebrated by Star Trek fans as being the best of the movies with the original cast, if not the best of all of the Star Trek movies.  This movie stars the same original cast as last time, with the addition of the incredible Ricardo Montalbon (may he rest in peace) and Kirstie Alley, along with a few other, more minor characters.  Montalbon, besides playing Khan in the original Star Trek series episode "Space Seed," also is best known for his role as Mr. Roarke in Fantasy Island, and Kirstie Alley has done many other roles, including Rebecca Howe in Cheers, and best known to me in North and South, an extremely long and fun miniseries about the Civil War.  This movie was directed by Nicholas Meyer (who has not directed many movies, but, in fact, directed Star Trek IV - more about that in a couple of blogposts), and was released in 1982.

Given that The Wrath of Khan is considered the best of the Star Trek movies, I would postulate that anyone reading this blogpost would already know the plot if they were at all interested in the Star Trek movies.  If this offends any of my readers, I apologize.  Therefore, in lieu of plot summary, I present this short opera by Robot Chicken to help explain the plot:  Le Wrath di Khan.

My husband showed me that video after watching the film with me.  I enjoyed it a great deal, and I hope you did too!

Now, on to the notes!

While this video is a little trite and awfully funny, The Wrath of Khan is, in fact, quite moving.  It has strong and clear-cut emotions - fear, anger, love.  While watching it, I thought that the writers must have had the original characteristics and quirks of the television show in mind before writing the dialogue.  In fact, Harve Bennet - the executive producer and also a writer - sat down and watched every episode of the original Star Trek before trying to hash out a concept for this movie.  One in particular caught his eye - "Space Seed."

I can understand why.  In preparation for this post (and out of sheer curiosity), I decided to also watch "Space Seed."  (Thank you to CBS and YouTube who paired to present full episodes of the original Star Trek on YouTube for free public viewing, albeit with commercials.)  I have watched perhaps a third of the original series, and this is, by far, the most interesting and best of the episodes I have seen.  I am curious as to whether or not people who have seen them all would agree.  The flavor of The Wrath of Khan is the exact same as "Space Seed."  There is a lot of wry commentary and wit, magnetism and passion, and calm danger.  The only irritation with this episode is a terrible error for the movie: Chekov (the one that Khan recognizes and points out, "I never forget a face") was not in that episode at all.

According to Wikipedia, here's the scoop: "During filming, Kelley noted that Chekov never met Khan in 'Space Seed' (Koenig had not yet joined the cast), and thus Khan's recognizing Chekov on Ceti Alpha did not make sense.  Star Trek books have tried to rationalize this discrepancy; in the film's novelization by Vonda N. McIntyre, Chekov is 'an ensign assigned to the night watch' during 'Space Seed' and met Khan in an off-screen scene.  The non-canonical novel To Reign in Hell: The Exile of Khan Noonien Singh fixes the error by having Chekov escort Khan to the surface of Ceti Alpha after the events of the television episode.  The real cause of the error was a simple oversight by the filmmakers.  Meyer defended the mistake by noting that Arthur Conan Doyle made similar oversights in his Sherlock Holmes stories."

Wait, what??

Okay, first off, it's bad enough that authors decided to go back and explain in the context of the Star Trek universe why the filmmakers made a mistake, but I can understand that.  Us Trekkers/Trekkies want everything to come together in a sort of dogma or canon - it MUST be so.  The fact that the director defended the mistake by saying, well, this famous author totally did it so neener, and shut up, is NOT an excuse!  It's a total cop-out and it's disappointing.

Ah well, back to the praise for the movie instead of the frustration about the movie-makers.

The Wrath of Khan stands in sharp contrast to The Motion Picture.  The uniforms are neat and ...  well, uniform.  Everything - the sets, the costumes, the special effects - are crisp, colorful, and vibrant.  It makes The Motion Picture look completely washed out.  (Although it's awfully funny that the costumes that Chekov and Captain Terell wear for the excursion onto what they believe to be Ceti Alpha 6 have very convenient handles on the front for Khan to lift Chekov up in what is otherwise one of his most threatening scenes.)

Oh, and then there are the eels - the only living indigenous creature still left on Ceti Alpha 5.  Those things - puppets on rods or strings with raspberry jelly coating them - are terrifying.  They have frightened me since the first time I saw them, and I still am horribly stunned when I see them - even after more than 25 years.  The special effects for them are neither flashy, nor especially believable, but the human fear of creepy-crawlies is well used in this scene.

Finally, I must talk about the end.  When I saw Spock die the first time I watched the film, I was shocked.  I had already seen Star Trek IV several times before seeing The Wrath of Khan, and I knew he was alive there!  It was quite confusing, but no less moving.  This is probably the very best acting that William Shatner ever did in this role.  The funeral moves me to tears, and I appreciate greatly the last tribute (although not to be the last of Spock) of Spock reading the prologue at the end:  "Space...the final frontier..."

Wonderful, wonderful.  If you are a Star Trek fan - and even if you're not - this is a must.

We've Got Them Just Where They Want Us

As far back as I can remember, I have loved Star Trek. In combined celebration and trepidation for the new Star Trek movie due out this May (and a fortuitous and joy-bringing birthday present from my husband), I have decided to re-watch and re-evaluate all of the previous Star Trek films. I expect that there may be intermittent reviews of other kinds of films mixed in, but I will see and review all of them, in order, before seeing the new Star Trek film in May.

And, so, without further ado:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

ST:TMP (if you'll allow it) and the following Star Trek films boast ensemble casts, so I hope you will forgive the vast lists of stars that are about to ensue. The film stars the regular crew from the original series: William Shatner (James T. Kirk), Leonard Nimoy (Spock), DeForest Kelley (Leonard "Bones" McCoy), George Takei (Hikaru Sulu), James Doohan (Mongomery "Scotty" Scott), Walter Koenig (Pavel Chekov), Nichelle Nichols (Nyota Uhura), and Majel Barrett (Christine Chapel). A couple of additional and new crew members join them: Stephen Collins (Willard Decker) and Persis Khambatta (Ilia). The film was directed by Robert Wise (who I was surprised to discover directed West Side Story and The Sound of Music, among others - some credentials!), and was released in 1979.

The movie takes place a few years after the end of the series. The crew has separated - Kirk has been promoted to Admiral, and is now Chief of Starfleet Operations, Spock has gone home to Vulcan to pursue spiritual and logical enlightenment, and Bones has retired (and, if the costume/beard are any indication, has become an old hippie). Discontented with his desk job, Kirk reclaims command of the Enterprise from Captain Decker (Collins), much to Decker's chagrin, and effectively brings the rest of the crew out of retirement. Ilia joins the crew, and a spark passes between her and Decker; they have not only met before, but were in love.

The Enterprise is commissioned to investigate a destructive and unresponsive entity that is on a direct course to Earth. When the Enterprise encounters the object, Spock figures out that the object is communicating at a much faster rate than they could pick up regularly, and sends a friendship message at that speed. The entity responds with its own probe, which promptly abducts Ilia, and then returns her bereft of her humanity (for lack of a better term, given that she is an alien), and her personality stored as mere data. Ilia-as-probe searches the ship, seeking to investigate these "inferior carbon-based life forms." The crew discovers from Ilia that the being is called V'ger, and is seeking its Creator. It seeks to destroy the carbon-based life forms on Earth when its Creator doesn't respond, but Kirk convinces V'ger that he knows why the Creator hasn't responded, completely bluffing. V'ger calls off the attack, and has Ilia bring in Kirk, Spock, Decker, and McCoy to see V'ger in person, per Kirk's demand.

Once they are inside the much larger vessel, Kirk et al realize that V'ger is, in fact, Voyager 6 - a fictional satellite based on the Voyager 1 and 2 models that launched in the 1970s to take pictures and gather data. They realize that V'ger is seeking its Creator in order to not only report back, but also to evolve - to join with the Creator. V'ger had encountered a machine planet in its travels that built the exterior structure for it, and encouraged its sentience by giving it more knowledge. Decker more than happily complies with V'ger's request, taking the role of the Creator. Consequently, he finally gets to consummate his affection with Ilia. V'ger evolves into bright lights (and, seemingly, into a higher plane of existence), and Kirk and crew depart to continue their exploration "Out there...thataway."

Given the simplistic plot, this film is far too long. Clocking in at 132 minutes (yes, that's two hours and 12 minutes), this movie is (with respect and credit due to my dad, who explained it perfectly) a one-hour episode stretched out far too long. Given the recent (at the time) release of Star Wars, I can understand that they wanted to flaunt their newly acquired special effects and makeup budgets and capabilities. Thus we have Klingons that never appear again, encountering V'ger at the beginning of the film. ("Hey, Roy, we got some more money in the makeup budget! Let's throw some Klingons in there just for laughs!") In addition, many 10-15 minute long sequences of the ship flying through space could have easily been cut.

But I discovered something when I was watching the behind-the-scenes documentaries. It turns out that Dad's assertion was spot on: the film was not intended to be a film at all. The story was supposed to be the pilot episode for Star Trek: Phase 2 - a television series that never came to pass. Did you get that? This two-hour-and-twelve-minute long movie was supposed to be and was written as a one-hour television show! Ridiculous.

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh. This movie was also a love note to the fans - Star Trek back with new content after going off the air for 10 years. It was going to be a box-office hit no matter the plot - just like the Star Wars prequels were (terrible movies, but people paid through the nose to see them) and like the new Star Trek movie will be. I have my doubts about the quality of the film (albeit unfounded - I've only seen one trailer, and it looked awesome), but I still intend to see it in theaters. There is a loyalty in Star Trek fans that not even a travesty like Star Trek: Enterprise can shatter. This movie must have been highly anticipated and quite beloved.

In fact, even as I watch this with a 30-year shield and 9 other (better, with the possible exception of Star Trek V) Star Trek movies and four more serieses under my belt, I feel a certain tug at my heartstrings. This is Star Trek, after all. It isn't a good plot, the costumes and sets are bland in color and style, and the characters are incredibly hokey, but it still has a few saving graces besides its good name and inexplicable pull.

(1) The music. The main theme of the film, written by Jerry Goldsmith, is perfect. It was re-used and slightly adjusted for Star Trek: The Next Generation, so has nostalgic value for me. It is also a wonderful theme in and of itself - majestic, triumphant, joyful, and just the tiniest bit sad.

(2) Occasional perfect bits of dialogue. There are a few pieces of dialogue that speak completely to the characters. For example, when the non-Ilia probe (a beam of rather menacing-looking light) is searching the bridge, Kirk says, "Don't interfere with it," Checkov replies, "AbsoLUTely I will not interfere with it!!" Another good piece of dialogue is when Decker exclaims with naivety while being drawn inside V'ger, "Forward motion, sir!" Spock dismissively deadpans, "Tractor beam." (Brilliant!) Finally, when Bones and Spock meet again, Spock makes some caustic remark, and Bones says, "Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're just as warm and sociable as ever."

(3) The fact that they let women be promoted into traditionally male roles. Christine Chapel (Barrett), who was a nurse in the series, has become a doctor in the years since their last mission.

In effect, unless you are a Star Trek fan and are watching it for its history and nostalgia, I would suggest to skipping to one hour and forty-five minutes into the movie. As long as you have a brief summary of what comes before, you're set. The last half-hour of this film is the best and fastest-moving part of it.

Tune in soon for Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan!!

I Pronounce You Man and Wife. Proceed With the Execution.

My next film is one that I had seen as a child, and decided to give another change: The African Queen.  This movie was made in 1951, and stars Katharine Hepburn (need I say more?) and Humphrey Bogart (probably best known for his role in Casablanca.  The film was directed by John Huston (who also directed Annie and The Maltese Falcon).

The African Queen takes place in 1914, in German East Africa.  A missionary, Samuel Sayer (Robert Morely), and his sister, Rose (Hepburn), live with and preach to a small village of Africans.  Once World War I begins, German soldiers come to the village, set fire to the huts, and round up the Africans, taking them away to be soldiers.  Samuel and Rose are not hurt at all, and their house is not disturbed, but the church is burned to the ground.  Samuel goes mad because of the chaos, and dies quickly.  Rose is alone in the village.

Charlie Allnut (Bogart), a riverboat captain and supplies dealer, comes by the village to check on them the day Samuel dies.  Finding Rose alone, he takes her with him to his riverboat - the African Queen.  Rose suggests that they go down the river to the lake, in order to get out of the area.   Charlie informs her that the lake is held by a German warship called the Louisa.  Rose figures out a way to torpedo the Louisa, using the African Queen, and convinces Charlie to go with the plan.  They travel down the river, encounter great hardships, and fall in love.  At the end, they are captured by the Germans before they can blow up the Louisa, but ask the ship captain to marry them before they are hung.  He does, and just before they are killed, the formerly submerged African Queen surfaces and blows up the Louisa.  Charlie and Rose dive off the ship, and presumably swim to safety.

There were many things about The African Queen that frustrated me.  The opening credits of this movie are awful - two minutes of floating under branches, looking up at the sky, and hearing monkeys.  It almost made me want to turn off the movie in disgust.  The next three minutes are also purely painful - out of tune, no word singing of a hymn.  In fact, almost the entire movie seems campy, predictable, and unrealistic.

For some reason, I have never been fond of Humphrey Bogart.  I suppose I don't see him as the best of leading men.  He is neither handsome, nor charismatic - he doesn't even have a sexy voice, or even an accent!  In this, I am no more impressed.  Hepburn, however, disappointed me in this movie.  For the first half of the film, her character is bland and stark.  Her attire - though appropriate for the time period they are depicting - is high collared and must have been stifling to her.  Her fire and pizzaz don't really shine through until two different scenes.  One is when she pours all of Charlie's gin overboard after an argument (sort of reminded me of Elizabeth Swann burning all of Jack Sparrow's rum in Pirates of the Caribbean).  The other is the scene after they have successfully traversed the rapids.  She says, "I never dreamed that any mere physical experience could be so stimulating!"

I did like a couple of details about the film.  I happened to notice that the missionary church was a Methodist one, which explained in and of itself Rose's obvious distaste for alcohol.  I thought that was quite true to form, and enjoyed that little tidbit.  In addition, I liked the comment after the ship captain married them - see the quote in the title for that.

I do not recommend this film.  It is such an average plot, and the actors do not rise above the story to make it more intriguing.  The film seemed endless and quite dull for the most part.  Pick a different Hepburn movie!  Then again, maybe I should give "Bogey" another chance someday...

They Know When They Are Loved For Themselves

Please excuse my extended absence from writing my blog.  The holidays got WAY more crazy than I expected, but I'm ready to jump back in!

And I do with both feet, watching Anastasia - a film made in 1956, starring Ingrid Bergman (of The Inn of the Sixth Happiness and The Bells of Saint Mary, among others) and Yul Brynner (best known to me for his amazing role in The King and I), and Helen Hayes.  Anastasia was directed by Anatole Litvak.

To fully understand this film, one must first know the historical background of this story.  The Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna was the youngest daughter of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia.  Tsar Nicholas II was the last Russian czar, and was overthrown in revolt in 1918.  At that time, the Tsar and his entire immediate family were taken prisoner and eventually shot by a firing squad.  Although it was reported that every member of the family was dead, rumors persisted for decades that Anastasia had somehow survived this great horror.  Several impostors came forward, trying to claim that they were the lost princess.  The most famous of these was Anna Anderson.  While it was eventually decided that she was not Anastasia after all, her claim persisted the longest.

This film plays on Anna Anderson's claim.  Although the circumstances of the film are quite different from that of real life, the basic idea is the same.  General Bounine (Brynner) - a formerly high-ranking general for the Russian Empire - and his associates had spent several years seeking out women with a reasonable resemblance to Anastasia, with the hopes of having her officially recognized by her grandmother, the Dowager Empress Maria Feodorovna (Hayes).  Once recognized, she would gain her impressively large inheritance, and presumably share it with Bounine and his associates.  Having heard a rumor that a woman recently released from an asylum had claimed that she was Anastasia, Bounine pursues the woman, and quickly persuades her that she would be able to confirm her identity if she works with them.  Anna (Bergman) is not interested in money or fame, but only wants to figure out which of her very disjointed memories is reality.

After a great deal of training and time, Anna and Bounine make their way to Copenhagen, where the Empress currently resides.  The two attempt several times to see the Empress, but, overwhelmed with heartache and false promises, the Empress refuses to see anyone claiming to be one of the dead Romanovs.  They are able to meet with the greedy Prince Paul von Haraldburg - Anastasia's cousin and formerly betrothed - who is interested in also gaining a piece of the inheritance.  Anna responds warmly to the false show of affection that Paul shows her, having lived so long with so little love.

After a great deal of time, the Empress realizes that she may be too stubborn, and goes to see Anna, who, by this time, has begun to believe that she is really and truly Anastasia.  The Empress flutters between being hurt and sympathetic in their meeting, and finally decides that she is Anastasia when the Empress hears Anna cough because she is frightened - as Anastasia always used to do when she was a child.  

When they are ready to declare her as the Duchess, Bounine balks at being part of the ceremony.  Refusing to say it aloud, he still goes to the Empress and suggests that he is no longer interested in any reward.  The Empress realizes that Bounine is in love with Anastasia, and uncomfortable with the impending engagement between Paul and Anastasia.  The Empress then speaks to Anastasia, and discovers she does not love Paul, but rather Bounine.  Placing them surreptitiously in the same room right before the ceremony, the Empress realizes that her newly-found granddaughter is lost to her again.  Indeed, when the servants go in to find Anastasia, they return with the news that she is gone, and so is Bounine.  When asked what she will tell the assembled guests, the Empress replies, "I will tell them that the play is over, now go home."

This movie gives you everything you want.  As a viewer, I really wanted Bounine and Anastasia to get together at the end, so I could not be more pleased.  In addition, I appreciated that they left the question open - was she Anastasia?  Was she not?  You are left not knowing, and I appreciate that tactfulness toward the actual story.

The costumes are both functional and lovely - when they should be simple - such as Anna wandering the streets - they are.  When they are for the ball at the end of the movie, the costumes are luxurious and fine-looking.  

An important note: Ingrid Bergman won the Oscar for Best Actress for this role - and she fully deserved it.

All-in-all, wonderful film.  It's a rags-to-riches story with the twist of leaving the lavish for the loving.  Highly recommended.  Also on the DVD copy I rented, there is a wonderful Biography program on Anastasia in the special features section that is not to be missed.