We've Got Them Just Where They Want Us

As far back as I can remember, I have loved Star Trek. In combined celebration and trepidation for the new Star Trek movie due out this May (and a fortuitous and joy-bringing birthday present from my husband), I have decided to re-watch and re-evaluate all of the previous Star Trek films. I expect that there may be intermittent reviews of other kinds of films mixed in, but I will see and review all of them, in order, before seeing the new Star Trek film in May.

And, so, without further ado:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

ST:TMP (if you'll allow it) and the following Star Trek films boast ensemble casts, so I hope you will forgive the vast lists of stars that are about to ensue. The film stars the regular crew from the original series: William Shatner (James T. Kirk), Leonard Nimoy (Spock), DeForest Kelley (Leonard "Bones" McCoy), George Takei (Hikaru Sulu), James Doohan (Mongomery "Scotty" Scott), Walter Koenig (Pavel Chekov), Nichelle Nichols (Nyota Uhura), and Majel Barrett (Christine Chapel). A couple of additional and new crew members join them: Stephen Collins (Willard Decker) and Persis Khambatta (Ilia). The film was directed by Robert Wise (who I was surprised to discover directed West Side Story and The Sound of Music, among others - some credentials!), and was released in 1979.

The movie takes place a few years after the end of the series. The crew has separated - Kirk has been promoted to Admiral, and is now Chief of Starfleet Operations, Spock has gone home to Vulcan to pursue spiritual and logical enlightenment, and Bones has retired (and, if the costume/beard are any indication, has become an old hippie). Discontented with his desk job, Kirk reclaims command of the Enterprise from Captain Decker (Collins), much to Decker's chagrin, and effectively brings the rest of the crew out of retirement. Ilia joins the crew, and a spark passes between her and Decker; they have not only met before, but were in love.

The Enterprise is commissioned to investigate a destructive and unresponsive entity that is on a direct course to Earth. When the Enterprise encounters the object, Spock figures out that the object is communicating at a much faster rate than they could pick up regularly, and sends a friendship message at that speed. The entity responds with its own probe, which promptly abducts Ilia, and then returns her bereft of her humanity (for lack of a better term, given that she is an alien), and her personality stored as mere data. Ilia-as-probe searches the ship, seeking to investigate these "inferior carbon-based life forms." The crew discovers from Ilia that the being is called V'ger, and is seeking its Creator. It seeks to destroy the carbon-based life forms on Earth when its Creator doesn't respond, but Kirk convinces V'ger that he knows why the Creator hasn't responded, completely bluffing. V'ger calls off the attack, and has Ilia bring in Kirk, Spock, Decker, and McCoy to see V'ger in person, per Kirk's demand.

Once they are inside the much larger vessel, Kirk et al realize that V'ger is, in fact, Voyager 6 - a fictional satellite based on the Voyager 1 and 2 models that launched in the 1970s to take pictures and gather data. They realize that V'ger is seeking its Creator in order to not only report back, but also to evolve - to join with the Creator. V'ger had encountered a machine planet in its travels that built the exterior structure for it, and encouraged its sentience by giving it more knowledge. Decker more than happily complies with V'ger's request, taking the role of the Creator. Consequently, he finally gets to consummate his affection with Ilia. V'ger evolves into bright lights (and, seemingly, into a higher plane of existence), and Kirk and crew depart to continue their exploration "Out there...thataway."

Given the simplistic plot, this film is far too long. Clocking in at 132 minutes (yes, that's two hours and 12 minutes), this movie is (with respect and credit due to my dad, who explained it perfectly) a one-hour episode stretched out far too long. Given the recent (at the time) release of Star Wars, I can understand that they wanted to flaunt their newly acquired special effects and makeup budgets and capabilities. Thus we have Klingons that never appear again, encountering V'ger at the beginning of the film. ("Hey, Roy, we got some more money in the makeup budget! Let's throw some Klingons in there just for laughs!") In addition, many 10-15 minute long sequences of the ship flying through space could have easily been cut.

But I discovered something when I was watching the behind-the-scenes documentaries. It turns out that Dad's assertion was spot on: the film was not intended to be a film at all. The story was supposed to be the pilot episode for Star Trek: Phase 2 - a television series that never came to pass. Did you get that? This two-hour-and-twelve-minute long movie was supposed to be and was written as a one-hour television show! Ridiculous.

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh. This movie was also a love note to the fans - Star Trek back with new content after going off the air for 10 years. It was going to be a box-office hit no matter the plot - just like the Star Wars prequels were (terrible movies, but people paid through the nose to see them) and like the new Star Trek movie will be. I have my doubts about the quality of the film (albeit unfounded - I've only seen one trailer, and it looked awesome), but I still intend to see it in theaters. There is a loyalty in Star Trek fans that not even a travesty like Star Trek: Enterprise can shatter. This movie must have been highly anticipated and quite beloved.

In fact, even as I watch this with a 30-year shield and 9 other (better, with the possible exception of Star Trek V) Star Trek movies and four more serieses under my belt, I feel a certain tug at my heartstrings. This is Star Trek, after all. It isn't a good plot, the costumes and sets are bland in color and style, and the characters are incredibly hokey, but it still has a few saving graces besides its good name and inexplicable pull.

(1) The music. The main theme of the film, written by Jerry Goldsmith, is perfect. It was re-used and slightly adjusted for Star Trek: The Next Generation, so has nostalgic value for me. It is also a wonderful theme in and of itself - majestic, triumphant, joyful, and just the tiniest bit sad.

(2) Occasional perfect bits of dialogue. There are a few pieces of dialogue that speak completely to the characters. For example, when the non-Ilia probe (a beam of rather menacing-looking light) is searching the bridge, Kirk says, "Don't interfere with it," Checkov replies, "AbsoLUTely I will not interfere with it!!" Another good piece of dialogue is when Decker exclaims with naivety while being drawn inside V'ger, "Forward motion, sir!" Spock dismissively deadpans, "Tractor beam." (Brilliant!) Finally, when Bones and Spock meet again, Spock makes some caustic remark, and Bones says, "Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're just as warm and sociable as ever."

(3) The fact that they let women be promoted into traditionally male roles. Christine Chapel (Barrett), who was a nurse in the series, has become a doctor in the years since their last mission.

In effect, unless you are a Star Trek fan and are watching it for its history and nostalgia, I would suggest to skipping to one hour and forty-five minutes into the movie. As long as you have a brief summary of what comes before, you're set. The last half-hour of this film is the best and fastest-moving part of it.

Tune in soon for Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan!!